Key To Music Grades

A - You will never be whole without it
B - Highly recommended
C - Flawed, but still pretty good
D - It's your money, not mine
F - Why couldn't this have been burned in Fahrenheit 451?

Sunday, April 25, 2010

Kaki King - The Bowery Ballroom - April 16, 2010

Rumors of this guitar virtuoso's musical death have been greatly exaggerrated. No, she doesn't do that "tapping" thing on her new album and it wasn't prominent in the show, either, because she was too busy rocking the fucking out. Is this what everyone wants to hear and see? A musician stuck in the confines of her audience's desires, which is probably the equivalent of eating camembert cheese with boysenberries. Let her do what she wants.

That said, great show. It was a nice mix of rockers ("Falling Day," "Death Head," and a variety of acoustic instrumentals, those that got her attention in the first place and some new ones. I never tire of "Pink Noise." "Bone Chaos" was pretty searing as usual; it's one of those manic displays of guitar awesomeness that makes you stop whatever you're doing. Which reminds me of something: she doesn't have a bass player. The guy posing as one was toting (I had to google this) and electronic EVI synth; it's basically like an electronic trumpet that you can play pretty much everything on, including bass. The guy was pretty impressive. Her drummer, too, reminded me of Stewart Copeland for his loose and varied style.

For her encore, Kaki brought out the lap-steel and started looping several guitar parts for "Gay Sons" with an added bass and drum backbeat until it became a kind of dance tune. She then jumped into the audience and started dancing. It was pretty awesome. Then she let everyone know her and the band would be drinking beers at the merchandise table. Cue Bowery staff, who, in the spirit of every good aftermath to rock and roll shows, cough cough, told us to make our way to the door and get the fuck out. Gotta love the way things are now. On a side note to that, NYC music venues are sucking ass. Last time I was at the Bowery years ago, it was fucking righteous. It's turned into a clean, sterile vapid place. I believe the word they use in housing development is "gentrification." The same feel can be applied here.


Falling Day
Bone Chaos In The Castle
Life Being What It Is
Pull Me Out Alive
Death Head
Unknown song/solo
Playing With Pink Noise
All The Landslides Birds Have Seen Since The Beginning Of The World
Doing The Wrong Thing
Everything Has An End, Even Sadness
Spit It Back In My Mouth
You Don't Have To Be Afraid


Hallucinations From My Poisonous German Streets
Gays Sons Of Lesbian Mothers

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

First Two 7"s On A 12" - Minor Threat (1981)

A combination of their first two EPs, Minor Threat and In My Eyes, this album is like a series of uppercuts to the face -- for ten minutes. Straight edge punk at its finest. I shall waste no further words. Go on and get it, however way you wish. A

Monday, April 5, 2010

Two Minutes Hate

For those unaware of what this is, please read here briefly for an explanation.

Eric fucking Clapton is a wanking tired third-rate claptrap of a bluesplayer. If he could suck his own dick, he would slobber over it slowly like a worn blues lick he got caught in-between his teeth. He's overrated and if he had children, his most notable abortion would be SRV and his insistence that you hear the same 'ol blues, but faster! And then when he plays it fast-like and you ooh and you ahhh and you gimme some more moloko, he's plays the same damn thing again, but faster! OMFG. The only thing worse than this bastard's blistering blues is no blues, no soul, check-my-shades-bitch Satriani, who could probably lose a battle of emoticons texting with himself, just because he'd get confused on the origins of a smile or a wink or anything with a fucking soul.