Key To Music Grades

A - You will never be whole without it
B - Highly recommended
C - Flawed, but still pretty good
D - It's your money, not mine
F - Why couldn't this have been burned in Fahrenheit 451?

Sunday, June 1, 2008

Two Minutes Hate

I've noticed that I either review albums I enjoy (to varying degrees), albums I sort of like and albums I doggedly abhor (and own) -- but I've left no room for albums I despise so much that I actually refuse to own them in any capacity. Therefore, every once in a blue I'm going to inject a new installment into Mad Hatter Music culled directly from my Big Brother mental portfolio: the Two Minutes Hate. In two minutes, I'm going to think and type as many dreadful-not-even-worth-a-listen albums or songs that I can possible think of to save you, Dear Reader, from future suffering. After all, I already had to suffer incredible aural tortures. And no, I'm not Christ. I'm just as mad as a hatter and sometimes I prefer my green slippers over my purple ones, okay? So much ado without further of it, here is the Two Minutes Hate.

My Chemical Romance - The Black Parade
Styx - Kilroy Was Here
Linkin Park - Hybrid Theory
Journey - Raised On Radio
That horrible Green Day/U2 collaboration


Master Cianan said...

You left out simply red (any), that fucking "party like a rock star" song, and Nickelback's catalog.

The Mad Hatter said...

I type very slowly, bud. But those are also choice morsels of absolute crap.

Jeff said...

I agree with master cianan, anything Nickleback can be thrown on that list as well as anything from New Found Glory, or any emo band for that matter.

The Mad Hatter said...

Nickelback isn't even a band; they're a brand. They're like that dull variety checkout candy that always tastes the same.

And emo totally sucks. I'm actually going to break my basic site creed in being diverse and instead be close-minded when I say that all emo sucks, I want no emo readers on my site and you fuckers can all rot in the nether precipices of your paltry nuanced hell for creating, listening and/or supporting such shittily manufactured musical garbage.

taotechuck said...

i love emo.

taotechuck said...

(am i kidding? or am i serious? you can't quite tell, can you? HA!)

taotechuck said...

(i will tell you this. you're wrong about the black parade. of course, that's not really an emo album, now is it?)

taotechuck said...

on a different note, i wouldn't listen to nickel creek for years because their name was too close to nickelback. same way i still have a hard time listening to ryan adams.

The RIpple Effect said...

What, no Mr Roboto for you? Only shows what good taste you have!!

I'll start controversy with this, but I'll add any Aerosmith after Draw the Line.

The Mad Hatter said...

Very much agreed. Even their earlier stuff, while still occasionally good, is spotty at best. I kinda like Rocks. From the point they were resurrected by Run DMC is the point when they just sucked forever and on.

The RIpple Effect said...

You're preaching gospel with that one! And I agree, for as much love/hype as they've gotten, if you really look at Aerosmith's body of work, they put out two strong albums, Rocks and Toys in the Attic, a bunch of good songs like Dream On, but not very much else to love. Dream On as an album is weak, as is their second one. Draw the Line is iffy. I like "Chicita" from night in the ruts, the rest is still in the ruts.

A band I'm told I should really love and I'm still looking for a reason why.

The Mad Hatter said...

Aerosmith was nothing more an ambitious bar band homogenized over time. AC/DC's got them beat bad. Rather than question why you don't love them, question why those who suggest them don't hate them! First album is pretty awful. Take all their albums from the 70s, take the good songs, add them to an iPod playlist and, hold on a sec, you get:

Dream On
Mama Kin
Same Old Song And Dance
Train Kept A Rollin'
Sweet Emotion
Walk This Way
Back In The Saddle
Rats In The Cellar

Call for a few pressings and you'll have my Aerosmith's greatest hits package!

But seriously, I'd have to hold myself up in a secret tweaker pad to enjoy all their stuff.

Starrlight said...

What no love for the Journey with Randy Jackson era?! Thanks for the visit and the comment today. Glad to know others out there find Chris as twee as I do ;)

The Mad Hatter said...

Funny thing is, I thought they were fairly genuine when they came out, but they're so big now, they're like bullshit politicians made of a mist that quickly dissipates after you realize nothing was there to begin with.