Key To Music Grades

A - You will never be whole without it
B - Highly recommended
C - Flawed, but still pretty good
D - It's your money, not mine
F - Why couldn't this have been burned in Fahrenheit 451?

Saturday, July 12, 2008

Two Minutes Hate












For those unaware of what this is, please read here briefly for an explanation.

Let the hate begin:

The Cure Duran Duran Culture Club Tears For Fears Eurythmics Reo Speedwagon Michael Bolton The Killers R.E.M (Retarded Emo Band); and for you Chuck, Def Leppard's Hysteria.

29 comments:

Master Cianan said...

michael bolton is AWESOME.

bob_vinyl said...

I celebrate his entire catalog...

bob_vinyl said...

The Cure - I used to hate the Cure, but Disintegration is an undeniably great album. Once I realized that, I also came to find that they did some other worthwhile stuff. At the same time, they also did things to prove my ire wasn't unfounded.

Duran Duran - Well, it was good pop music. Not bold or daring, but entirely listenable in their heyday.

Culture Club - I truly believe that Johnny Cash should have covered "Karma Chameleon." Can't you just hear him singing, "I'm a man who doesn't know / How to sell a contradiction. / You came and go. / You come and go."

Tears for Fears - I like The Seeds of Love so much that I own it on both LP and CD.

Eurythmics - Have you ever actually listened to anything other than "Sweet Dreams?" How about "LOve Is a Stranger" or "Here Comes the Rain Again" (which is a song I've always kept on the list of songs I'd like to cover if I ever get a band together). Chuck and I made a list of the 20 great rock vocalists and Annie Lennox was on it. She's just amazing.

Michael Bolton - Okay, I'm with you on this one. He's an easy score, but you really can't go overboard in deriding him.

The Killers - I wasn't that crazy about Cheap Trick when they were called Cheap Trick.

REM - REM is a great band. They succeeded on their own terms and made great msuic in the process. That being said, Michael Stipe as political commentator can be annoying (I much prefer my politics from Bono).

Hysteria - This is a nearly perfect record in its genre. Sadly, its genre is crap. Mutt Lange is perhaps the greatest band destroyer since Bob Ezrin got hold of Pink Floyd.

bob_vinyl said...

Oops, I forgot REO Speedwagon. Actually, I thin I'll just leave it that way.

Metal Mark said...

Hysteria is just awful, it's actually gotten worse over time. It's just glossed over crap and it's still hard to believe that this is the same band that did Pyromania and High -n- Dry.

Master Cianan said...

Bob, I love how you came to some kind of defense of almost everything on the list. As for not being crazy about Cheap Trick, I don't understand. The Killers can still go to hell, though.

bob_vinyl said...

Now, "Surrender" is a great song and they have a few others, but I just never understood what the hype was about. However, I saw them last year at the Virgin Fest and they were very good live, even as old men, so maybe their show had a lot to do with why they were so popular.

The Mad Hatter said...

Master Cianan

Michael Bolton sucks. Cheap Trick sucks. Not being able to afford to see MY team in MY stadium for the All-Star game tomorrow sucks the worst.

Bob,

I have invariably heard most 80s music -- to include everything Eurythmics did, even that awful 1984 album -- through my gloriously misguided sister. That said, everything you tried to defend is utter crap; and I forgive you only because we're different. But you go to far with R.E.M. Take you me for a sponge? They are one of the worst I have ever heard. A clay-brained, knotty-pated cnaker-blossom of a band, fronted by a mewling, pox-marked codpiece of a man.

Metal Mark,

I lost a lot of respect for my dad when he triumphed that garbage.

bob_vinyl said...

So, let me get this straight. Eurythmics suck because you heard your sister play them when you were younger. And REM sucks, because...well...you don't like them even though they managed to achieve huge commercial success without caving in to the music industry. They are the anthithesis of Def Leppard and yet you hate both. Oh, but they don't sing only about about school, war and mental illness like the band you like.

The Mad Hatter said...

I don't like Eurythmics because I think they suck; my sister merely reminded me -- often.

R.E.M. -- okay, first-off, that "success" word means little to me. I'm happy for them that they spurned the industry and still did what they wanted, but aside from that, their music is pretty awful. Michael Stipe's voice is almost as grating as Dave Matthews (another one on my shit-list) and I find either their songs boring or annoying. In that sense, they're just like the Counting Crows. Def Leppard is awful no matter how you package them and their being R.E.M.'s antithesis does nothing to sway my opinion of either of them. As for dragging "the band [I] like" into this posting -- for shame, for shame!

Master Cianan said...

Bob, yeah, cheap trick puts on a hell of a good show, but I like their albums too. I fucking love those guys. Our venerable host pretty much hates all things poppy, so whatever. As far as REM is concerned, foo. they have a handful of songs I like, otherwise they can bite it. I destroyed automatic for the people on my blog, so if you want to read some hate, check it out. So what if they did things on their own terms and came out on top. So did Ani DiFranco, and that doesn't make her music any less terrible. You make a poor argument.

calling Stipe a "mewling, pox-marked codpiece of a man" is absolutely wonderful.

The Mad Hatter said...

OMIGAWD. Because I just moved, my mail is on delay and I just now picked up the August edition of Guitar Player where, in a kind of mordious redux, I see Def Leppard's "Simple Tone Strategies" on the cover. Ick indeed. Quote: "We put a lot of effort into making our parts sound like they're not layered."

bob_vinyl said...

Master Cianan, my point wasn't that REM was successful, but that they were committed enough to their music to make it on their own terms. You have ignored my first point about them which is that they're a great band. Success on their own terms is only important if they don't suck. Seeing as they don't, I think it's an important consideration. Now, my unsubstantiated case for their greatness is no less valid than Hatter's unsubstantiated case that they aren't (even if I wasn't clever enough to refer to anyone as a codpiece).

Hatter, unlike the band you like, REM never made a gratuitous double album based on a paper-thin theme with only two or three listenable tunes on it.

The Mad Hatter said...

Fair enough, I do actually understand why you hate that album, but those two or three tunes by the Band-That-Shall-Not-Be-Sullied-Here are still better than anything R.E.M. ever did. Hell, even the soundtrack that you listen to often is better than anything they ever did. Hell, my argument is that R.E.M. never did anything good musically and therefore even one-hit wonders like Head East's "Never Been Any Reason" or Strawberry Alarm Clock's "Incense And Peppermints" hoist themselves far higher than anything R.E.M. ever did.

That said, while I appreciate your comments, my message to everyone is to remember that anything I put in this section are bands or songs beyond redemption and therefore blech. Blech to Michael Bolton. To Chris Martin. To Nova Scotia, and to funnel cakes. To Slipknot and Paul Simon and Andy Roddick and the Bud Lights I had to drink yesterday.

Master Cianan said...

Oh, Bob. Your argument has run in a circle.

Success on one's own terms is laudable on its own, and hinging it on whether or not a musician is any good is asinine. I infer from what you said, bob, that you don't care for Ani DiFranco either, but "sucks" is almost completely subjective in the case of music. (and that's the only time you'll catch me saying that.) I ignored your point about them being a great band because I disagree, and because it's of no consequence to this argument anyway. I say good for Ani DiFranco. She's making a good living and has done it entirely with her own two hands and exactly as she has seen fit. I also say "shut up, you dumb bitch! Nobody disagrees that you're a woman, so feel free to expand your topical horizons. It's been almost 20 years, hasn't your vagina blown out its larynx yet?" See my point? Do you hold her success against her because she's annoying and has ground the same axe down to its very handle? Should you?

And while REM may have never released "the wall", they have nonetheless released a spate of gratuitous albums (no premises, since none are concept albums) with LESS than 2 or 3 listenable songs.

bob_vinyl said...

Blech to funnel cakes? That's crazier than blech to REM.

bob_vinyl said...

I've never been to Nova Scotia, but based on your recommendation, I think I'll plan a trip there.

bob_vinyl said...

Master Cianan, it's not a circle. There are a lot of bands that stick to their guns, but don't do anything good. Local punk scenes are full of such bands. First and foremost, the band has to be good (and good isn't entirely subjective). If they are good (and yes, Ani Difranco is good), then other things come into consideration. I could form a band ans stay true to my vision, but it wouldn't matter, because I would still suck, no matter how much soul I had.

The Mad Hatter said...

Who the fuck is this Ani DiFranco? And someone tell me how I can get into the All-Star game tomorrow? Methinks the Mad Hatter Ninja is going to come out of retirement.

The Mad Hatter said...

I disagree, Bob. If your name was Leroy Gómez , you could have enough soul to make the world float. ;)

Master Cianan said...

OK, bob, you did go in a circle, and now you're trying to change the crux of the argument. This isn't about bands who do things their own way and never make a good living at it. This is about people who make music on their own terms and make a mint. It's remarkable because it's uncommon. It has nothing to do with quality of output. There are heaps of punk bands who suck and never make a dime. So what? And for the record I never said that "good" was an entirely subjective affair, just mostly. There's no defending Kenny G, no matter how many people like him. You say ani is good, I say she's lousy. You say REM is good, I say nay. This is also my opinion, and while I consider my own opinions gospel, I am tolerant of dissent. They can be good in the eyes of Bob. If you formed a band, handled business on your own terms, and still managed to come out on top, it would matter, regardless of how much you sucked at making music or how much soul you have. This isn't about soul. This is about a business ethic not getting squashed by the industry, and how it's laudable when a musician pulls it off.

Also, if you have soul and no talent, then your patron saint is wesley willis, and wesley willis rules. But that's neither here nor there. Funnel cakes are goooood, and Nova Scotia is full of tall ships and Sloan and Thrush Hermit and the Superfriendz. Nova Scotia is good.

Master Cianan said...

Oh, Leroy Gomez! My day has been made! Hatter, Ani DiFranco is a dreadlocked hippy with an acoustic guitar and an exceedingly pure voice (and I don't like them voices, I like growly ones) who has built a remarkable following and a fine career by asserting the fact that she happens to be a woman, which I find silly, because nobody is arguing that she is not. She also had a kid recently, whom I pity, because his mom is kind of a blowhard.

The Mad Hatter said...

That's possibly one of the very few reasons R.E.M. can be applauded -- I'm simply astounded they made it as far as they did given so little. Sometimes it's all in the timing; sometimes it's about the severity of the schtick; sometimes, it's just plain hard work, regardless of talent; and sometimes, it really depends on whether you're covering "Minnie The Moocher" or "Behind Blue Eyes."

The Mad Hatter said...

Dude, what are you calling me Hatter for like you don't know me? It's Master Bryan, remember?

Master Cianan said...

I'm expressing my friendship through stilted formality, dear Hatter.

Starrlight said...

I'll second The Killers and Bolton. I loathe Mr Lip Pubes Flowers nearly as much as I loathe Mr Chris Twatman Martin ;O

taotechuck said...

"Hell, even the soundtrack that you listen to often..."

I'm not certain which soundtrack you're accusing bob_vinyl of listening to often, but he did mention a week or so back that he has a soft spot for Grease. I filed that tidbit of knowledge away for future blackmailing purposes; I had no idea that my day would come so soon!

And when bob_vinyl retorts with vicious lies about me reading Jane Austen novels, ask yourself this question: would the one who defends Michael Stipe read Jane Austen, or would the one who is amused that "Stipe" rhymes with "tripe?"

bob_vinyl said...

To go along with your Two Minutes Hate, here's my Two Minutes Jackass:

Chuck, Chuck, Chuck, Chuck, Chuck, Chuck, Chuck, Chuck, Chuck, Chuck, Chuck, Chuck, Chuck, Chuck, Chuck, Chuck, Chuck, Chuck, Chuck, Chuck, Chuck, Chuck, Chuck, Chuck, Chuck, Chuck, Chuck, Chuck, Chuck, Chuck, Chuck, Chuck, Chuck, Chuck, Chuck, Chuck, Chuck, Chuck, Chuck, Chuck, Chuck, Chuck, Chuck, Chuck, Chuck, Chuck, Chuck, Chuck, Chuck, Chuck, Chuck, Chuck, Chuck, Chuck, Chuck, Chuck, Chuck, Chuck, Chuck, Chuck, Chuck, Chuck, Chuck, Chuck, Chuck, Chuck, Chuck, Chuck, Chuck, Chuck, Chuck, Chuck, Chuck, Chuck, Chuck, Chuck, Chuck, Chuck, Chuck, Chuck, Chuck, Chuck, Chuck, Chuck, Chuck, Chuck, Chuck, Chuck, Chuck, Chuck, Chuck, Chuck, Chuck, Chuck, Chuck, Chuck, Chuck, Chuck, Chuck, Chuck, Chuck, Chuck, Chuck, Chuck, Chuck, Chuck, Chuck, Chuck, Chuck, Chuck, Chuck, Chuck, Chuck, Chuck, Chuck, Chuck, Chuck, Chuck, Chuck, Jane Austen

The Mad Hatter said...

Love you guys, really; I'm laughing my sharries off.

And Jane Austen is fucking gobbidge.