Key To Music Grades

A - You will never be whole without it
B - Highly recommended
C - Flawed, but still pretty good
D - It's your money, not mine
F - Why couldn't this have been burned in Fahrenheit 451?
Showing posts with label (D-). Show all posts
Showing posts with label (D-). Show all posts

Thursday, November 8, 2007

Boston - Don't Look Back (1978)












For those who've indulged a bit too much in sense-altering solvents and woken the next day with a wee bit of residual pain within that soft pink squishy mass of importance in our craniums, then you know precisely why Don't Look Back hurts so much -- after all, with roughly two years of having "More Than A Feeling" and "Smokin'," such a disastrous sophomore follow-up just hurts beyond imagination. It's a natural reaction, of course, to compare the particular relevancies and doodads and what have you's from a band's obviously exemplary first effort with what it follows with afterwards. The expectations were, notably, much too high; but, truth be told, it doesn't matter, because Don't Look Back is almost wholly rotten and expectation has nothing to do with it. In fact, the title track is about as good as it gets: a touch of the old style -- that is, the vintage Boston sound created on the first record. After that, and I'm at an utter loss -- I mean, this album is painstakingly demoralizing; it's the complete antithesis of their first album, from stem to sternum. I never delude myself into thinking that, even on my best of days, I can create wondrous musical textures on my Strat, SG or Tele, or that my gurgling, groaning, chicken-with-its-throat-cut voice is any good -- but I would never allow such embarrassing self-absorbed tracks, such as "Party" and "Feelin' Satisfied," to ever bear my stamp of approval. I wouldn't even have opted for a pseudonym. Just buy the first album, not the greatest hits, which includes the aforementioned songs and they are not hits, I assure you. Oh, and I'm awash in disappointment, I know, but I must add that "Used To Bad News" is decent as well. Beyond that, D-

Saturday, November 3, 2007

Deep Purple - Stormbringer (1974)












Ah, here it is -- the dreadful funky close to one of the most heralded rock outfits from the 70s, the album that made Ritchie Blackmore hang up his scalloped frets and say bollocks to his blokes. This album sounds more like a vocal showcase for singer David Coverdale than it does an album proper, allowing him to project his soulful funk tendencies with fruitless abandon and practice his impending Whitesnake garbage -- and really, what business does "Love Don't Mean A Thing" have on any respectable DP album, let alone a rock album? I'm not a funk-hater, believe me; and I've got nothing against soul. Sly & The Family Stone; Donny Hathaway; Stevie Wonder? I totally dig them. Deep Purple laying down a saturated funk groove? I don't think so. Ritchie's later manifestation as the mad minstrel is better than this.

"Holy Man" is a synthesized gospel; "Hold On" sounds like a blaxploitation flick montage sequence; "Soldier Of Fortune" carries the torch as the prerequisite end-of-album mournful ballad. No, I didn't eat the shrooms; I swear on my mother's grave, and she ain't even dead! Terrible, terrible stuff, really, terribly, truly. The only songs worth lending your tympanic membranes to are "Stormbringer," "Lady Double Dealer" and "High Ball Shooter" -- the latter two conjuring up images of casinos and roulette and -- wow, I really don't know what to write about this album other than don't buy it. Ever. At all. I bought it, but that's because I'm as mad as a hatter. If you really want it, let me know; I'll burn you a copy. But I will hold you in such low regard that I think you would prefer my frienship instead. Oh, enough. D-