Two Minutes Hate

For those unaware of what this is, please read here briefly for an explanation.

Fucking Bono he's so cool he once gave the Pope his signature Armani sunglasses but not cool enough to reward those who fill his eternally deep coffers with tickets for his large stupid impersonal shows. Hey fuckbag perhaps if you took those rosy rubies off you'd realize your efforts to bring quote awareness end quote to third world countries is as stupid as thinking that if you drop a truckload of cash onto a pile of horseshit that at the end of the day it'll be gone when all you'll really have is horseshit covered with cash and flies you third-rate Geldof crony. Fuck you and offer a real solution, not some altruistic self-congratulatory nightcap you give to temper your megalomaniacal assbag tendencies.

U2 - No Line On The Horizon (2009)

Based on my mild savaging of The Joshua Tree, one would expect that I harbor some infantile hatred of everything U2. Not so, Mssr. Pangloss. I actually love early U2 and find most of their remaining output to be beautiful little musical gems surrounded by middling corporate schlock. Case in point: No Line On The Horizon, yet another album that I and many people have bought at this point, out of nostalgia, awe, completionism, or just a simple pining for a good song. But make no mistake, this is no better an album than anything in recent years. "Get On Your Boots," by merits a sequel to "Vertigo," is okay, but what really gets me is "I got a submarine / You got gasoline / I don't want to talk about wars between nations / Sexy boots." Sexy boots? Sexy boots? Yep. It's actually more annoying when heard.

Anyway, that's my only real gripe. Everything else is business as usual: long boring filler ("Moment Of Surrender," "Unknown Caller"), excellent Edge guitar textures ("No Line On The Horizon" and "I'll Go Crazy If I Don't Go Crazy Tonight") and my favorite song -- which every U2 album has -- the gorgeous "Magnificent." I love the the vintage tinkling guitar and chord sequences. It's a definitely a keeper and probably will sound great live. Otherwise, file it with the rest of their stuff and make sure not to kill yourself in trying to see them when they come around. C-