Key To Music Grades

A - You will never be whole without it
B - Highly recommended
C - Flawed, but still pretty good
D - It's your money, not mine
F - Why couldn't this have been burned in Fahrenheit 451?

Wednesday, September 12, 2007

Emerson, Lake And Palmer - Love Beach (1978)

Since I've made not one, but two references to this monstrosity of an album, it inherently deserves a more thorough explication. That said, one of the reasons I created this site was to keep some greenbacks in your pockets. I've clearly got your best interests at heart, no? (Such is the plight of those doomed to be senselessly altruistic; they never receive the true recognition they deserve.) Regardless, avoid this album. For those newbies out there and for those who've come to appreciate or despise their immodest quasi-classical compositions, ELP putting out Love Beach is to be avoided for its having none of those qualities. Sure, Greg Lake's ballads are present, but they're more for a hearty guffaw than for serious consideration as anything resembling decency.

True, the music tries to retain that twisted carnival atmosphere immortalized on Brain Salad Surgery, but that was due to a better reliance on minor scales, lyrics and a knack for just plain dark carnival music. This album feels like a happy tropical getaway gone awry, a goofy kind of exposé into the band's preternatural misgivings. The cover says it all! Oh for that which is wholly unholy, who cares to see Keith Emerson's virile man-hair? Because this album was completed due to contractual obligations, you should expect nothing more than the dross that it clearly is. Drink many a Mai Tai if you dare to brave this mess. An exemplary F!


bob_vinyl said...

There are a handful of albums that require a grade higher than A to set them apart from the more common A's. Unfortunately, there are more than a few that require a grade lower than F to set them apart from albums that are merely a complete waste. Love Beach perhaps leads the pack for the latter category. I don't know that words can describe just how bad it is.

The Mad Hatter said...

I'm in agreement; this is one of the worst. These same blokes had H.R. Giger design the Brain Salad Surgery album cover and yet they produce a trifecta of bad music, bad artwork and bad song titles. Yuck.